Where Do My Thoughts Come From?

They just pop in out of nowhere and ‘BAM!’ there is a thought right inside of my head. Is it a culmination of life experiences stored in my brain? It’s like my brain is a vast filing cabinet with a little dewy decimal system thrown in in order to make my search for old memories and stored thoughts somewhat accurate? Did you even understand that last sentence? Sometimes I wonder if thoughts are cloud based like the photos on my phone that I store in “the cloud.”

I’m constantly in thought. There is never not a thought in my noggin. I don’t think I have an overactive mind, it’s just how my brain works. Anywhere I go, everything I do, whether eating, cycling, working…, I have thoughts running loose in my mind. I have very little control over what I think about at times.

Thoughts tend to jump from one to another. My thoughts rarely bound from thought to thought. It’s more like meandering and there are never any gaps in between my thoughts. I can only remember one time when I wasn’t present in thought. It happened while I was meditating and in the blink of an eye I was everywhere at once but also singular. I could be everywhere simultaneously in an instant, yet I didn’t need to be. I knew absolutely everything, but there was no need to know it all. I just was. Then I became aware of this and I was instantly thrown back with my thoughts and have never been to that beautiful place since.

To be free of thoughts is an exquisite experience. You cannot force it, that’s just being mentally cruel to yourself. I guess it will just happen when it happens, but that is based on my experience. Your experience may be something entirely different, as are your thoughts.

Sometimes I have a thought, or thoughts, that answer all of the worlds problems. Then, as quickly as it came into my realm of thought it disappears and there is no trace of it left. Only a trace of a memory, of a trace of a memory, of something grand.

When my thoughts have a clarity to them, I am in my zone. This can happen while I am in the writing process. Setting up a structure of thoughts, a skeleton of sorts, as I write I close my eyes while listening to Vincent Guaraldi and wait for the next thought on a particular subject to appear and write it down. Hence my writing style. At times there are too many thoughts to capture at once, as I am mentally hurdling over them to capture as many as I can. One word which describes this exercise is, ‘Futile.’

Have you ever switched thoughts in the middle of a thought? Bombastic!!

‘Why did you think that!!?’ I get that question a lot. ‘Why would you ever think something like that?!?!’ I dunno, it just came outta nowhere! First I was thinking this and then that thought came along and it was like a ninety degree turn on a full throttle! How was I to know??!!

Why is it so hard to think at times? When talking to someone important I used to have mental blocks. Sometimes I couldn’t finish a thought. Right behind my forehead I would feel blocked up. It felt like a pile up of thoughts on the freeway of my brain located directly behind forehead. I was stunted. When I spoke I thought I sounded coherent, but I was actually saying, ‘Garbba doona thrigif, blupple rongly fribberswitch.’ Once during this, the person I was having a conversation with just looked at me, blinked, turned around, and walked away. True story.

I have a little pocket notebook I use at work to write down my thoughts, and sometimes I use the recorder on my phone to capture thoughts I’d like to get back to and expand upon. The thing is, my best thoughts come to me just before I fall asleep and I say to myself that I will remember it in the morning. I don’t. It’s frustrating. When I have tried to record them on my phone and listen to them in the morning, but it’s pure gibberish and I cannot make heads or tails of what I was attempting to record.

Today, when I was driving on the highway, I realized that everyone in their cars around me were having thoughts. Then it expanded pretty quickly to everyone in the world, right at this moment, have thoughts in their heads. Everyone! Wow! So many thoughts at one time is mind bending. I wonder how much all of these thoughts would weigh if they could be weighed. But I gather that thoughts are weightless, even though my head is filled with my thoughts and this can weigh heavily on my mind.

Where do thoughts come from, and where do they go afterwards? Are thoughts faster than the speed of light? Are thoughts predestined? What are thoughts made up of?

I think that there is more to our thoughts than we know. I could ask several neuroscientist’s their thoughts on this and I would bet that their answers would vary. I think that they would understand the mechanisms’ of why we have thoughts, but I don’t know if they would be able to truly explain the source of all our thoughts. How and why do they keep bubbling up into our heads in a consistent manner? As we die, do we have last thoughts and then there are no more?

I wonder if anyone has ever had a thought that no one else has ever had. I wonder how many thoughts are kept to oneself and never spoken of, even if their thoughts could be an enlightenment of sorts. Well, as you might think to yourself, my thoughts on thought may require thorough studies and research to get any semblance of understanding. Maybe I just think too much. What are your thoughts?

Enough now. My head is full and I need to sleep in order to have a clear mind in the morning. So, my last thought to you dear reader is… I forgot! Don’t you just hate when that happens?!?! …Ah, fugitaboutit!