Sleeping, And The Second Sleep
That first night sleep just doesn’t cut it with me anymore. When I wake in the morning and have to get up to walk the dog or get ready for work, I could use a second sleep. It’s like the Hobbits yearning for a second dinner.
I naturally wake around 4:30 in the morning. I’m not fully awake, but I am alert. I have my alarm to wake me early in the morning around 2:45am for me when I have to get to work by 4am. That’s a drag and I don’t know how much longer I can do it, because I need my sleep, man. My alarm snoozes every five minutes for fifteen minutes before I grudgingly make my way to the shower. I’ve been doing this for over two years now and it’s not getting easier.
If I wake at my normal time, around 4–4:30am, I stay in bed for a while longer enjoying the warmth of being under the covers. I’ve told my wife that when I am in the process of dying and bed ridden, to make sure that my legs are covered and warm. That is all I ask. When I’m laying in bed waking up and warm under my covers I love hearing the birds singing away outside of my bedroom window. That is such a natural way to wake up. It’s beautiful.
Sometimes I yearn for a second sleep. Just two more hours of blissful sleep would be so nice. As I’ve gotten older though, if I’m not up by 5am and sleep past that time, my body feels sluggish throughout the rest of the day. Even though I would love to sleep in, like I did in my younger years, I have to be up and at ’em at five o’clock. There is a trade off I do, as I am usually in bed by 7:30pm or 8pm at the latest.
I love getting to bed early, unless I’m out at the bay star gazing and hoping I see another UFO. I’ve seen several of them throughout my life. The last one was the day before my last birthday. It was over the bay and it was huge, fast and silent. At first I thought it was a meteor falling horizontally through the sky. It was no meteorite, and it was amazing to watch. I’ve wrote about that when I returned home later that night. I wonder if aliens sleep???
Sleeping is crucial for me. I actually long for it at about mid-day. Sometimes I have a nap to catch up on sleep, as I get up early for work. Naps are not the best for me all the time. I have to have naps sporadically because they can muck up my night time sleep. Instead I will usually meditate in my chair and kind of drift off to sleep for ten minutes afterwards. That can be hard on my neck, dozing off in my chair, so I will go and lay on my bed to finish my snooze.
I’ll tell you what though, having a second sleep for just an hour more is glorious. That’s only when I have the day off. I make sure that I am out of bed no later than 5:30am; 6am if I need the extra time to have my eyes shut. I’m usually awake when this happens, but having my eye shut while listening to the birds sing is total bliss. I like staying in bed for the warmth around my legs.
I love my sleep time and don’t ever take it for granted. There are days after work that I am strung out and have a nap just to refresh myself; Just for two hours. Even then I don’t feel right when I wake up afterwards. I need to find a new job where I wake up naturally and am really able to be productive at work, but the idea of finding another job is tedious to me.
I’ve heard people taking about having a “Power Nap.” That sounds arduous. I don’t know if I could do that. That sounds a little too much for me. Sometimes when I fall asleep it feels like a shallow sleep; It’s as if I’m awake at the same time. I’ve read that it’s best to remain in bed with the eyes closed and let it run it’s course. Lets not get napping mixed up with dozing. Dozing is good as I don’t fall into a deep sleep and am quite aware of the room I am in. It’s a sort of a shallow sleep.
There have been only a few times that I force myself out of bed when this has happened and I make my way downstairs to have a couple of glasses of milk. It’s so refreshing to me. I will usually drink it looking out the back window at all the houses, which are darkened and wonder if there is anyone awake, drinking a glass of milk like me, looking out of their window. Even if I can’t see them, I wave and say ‘hello!’
A coupe of times I have sat in my chair and opened my laptop to write. When I wake in the morning and reread what I have written, it’s incoherent. I’ve fallen asleep in my chair while writing when I’ve done this, only to see rows and rows of ‘L’ (lllllllllllllllllll) for pages, as my finger has been pressing down on the key. Crawling into bed after this feels so good, though I wouldn’t recommend falling asleep in a chair of course.
It’s funny that as I have aged, how much sleep means to me. Right now it’s 10:18pm and I’m feeling waves of sleep coursing through me. I’m going to have to stop here and get into bed soon. I usually fall asleep listening to a podcast, as the sound of someone talking is soothing and I fall asleep quickly. I’ve never had trouble falling asleep. I’m usually gone after several minutes, only to wake around midnight and there is another podcast churning away on my phone. In a way, after I turn it off, it’s like I am getting a second sleep.
I don’t think the true second sleep will come until I die. Dying must be like falling asleep only you just let go and fade away into an ever lasting sleep. The release of the body must be a beautiful, blissful feeling as one dies. I actually long for that day, but only when I am really exhausted. Just to fall asleep forever. I’ve lived an alright life, with a few glitches throughout. Pretty average I would guess. I am fortunate for what I have, so no complaints, except for one, …, just to catch up on some sleep.
How can you tell when there is a lack of sleep?? I don’t have a meter that I can check up on. Well, I take that back. My body and my mind are my meters and when I am running low on sleep, my body feels groggy and my mind is flittery, or a low attention span. Yes, I too can be a space cadet on the rare occasion. That is due to my lack of sleep.
When I feel like I have caught up on my sleep, I am awesome. My mind is settled, I see acutely, and I am really aware of my surroundings. I have never felt this way after a nap though. I can’t remember if I have ever felt this way after a second sleep, where I stay in bed a little while longer only to fall asleep again.
Snoozing the alarm for five more minutes of sleep is a wonderful feeling. There have been times I have wakened around ten or eleven at night to go to the toilet and crawling back into bed knowing that I still have hours to sleep is glorious. My body will just melt into the bed. I have absolutely no trouble falling asleep. Only on the rare occasion have I had trouble.
Well, I hope I haven’t put you to sleep with this essay. If I did, you probably needed it.
