My Transcendent Experience

I have had an experience about thirty years ago that still awes me today. Go ahead and mock me, I don’t hold on to criticism (much); It’s like waving your finger through air to me. I have written about this subject before in tiny doses and now I feel the need to expound upon it. So I’ll start from the beginning and hopefully you will follow along.

In the early nineties, around 1994, I was living in St Louis with a friend of mine. He had an apartment in a part of the city called University City. I was roughing it in a back room of the flat and I had my mattress on the floor. I was very poor and looking for a better job. I was getting married within the year to boot. Yeah, so I was struggling a bit and working part time at a Kinko’s. I was getting paid a penitence and my mate let me live at his place rent free for the time.

I woke one beautiful spring day hearing the birds singing and a small thin path of sunlight washed across my bed sheets from the window. It was a warm morning and I could smell the aroma of blossoms from the trees through my open window. I propped myself up against the wall to meditate. Yes, I was a meditator back in the day. I still do from time to time when I need to feel a silence in my head. It also brings a clarity to my mind. My meditation of choice was TM, Transcendental Meditation. It was a meditation introduced by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, The Beatles guru.

So I simply started my meditation, and then the most extraordinary thing happened. I don’t remember how long this event was, as in that moment time was nonexistent. The following is what happened, and yes — I remember it as if it just happened to me now.

I transcended. The best way to explain it, is that my mind was in another place. It was more than just my mind, it was my Being, it was who I really am. I was in, what I can only describe as pure light. It was a golden white light, everywhere and in all directions. It was endless. I was at total peace. I could still hear the birds outside my window singing in the trees, but that was my physical body’s senses. I could still smell the warm fragrant air gently blowing through my window screen. Even though my physical body was still propped up against the wall in my bedroom, I was in the most spectacular place of light.

I could go anywhere at anytime, I only needed to be there with a thought. Instead, knowing I could do this, I remained where I was. I was a point in infinity. I was just not a point in one place, I could be anywhere at anytime. But I didn’t need to do that as I was one with everything and everything was one with me. I know that sounds pretentious, but that is the only way to describe it.

I know that may sound absurd, but that was the reality that I was experiencing in that moment. I was the universe in the Relative, and in the subatomic field at the same time. I was everything. Yeah, I’m crazy right?! As I said, I was everywhere at once, and I could go anywhere simply by thinking it, instantly.

Yeah, call the loony department and have them come and take me away. I’m just relating my experience because I want to. There’s more. Why don’t you grab a seat, lean back and read on.

So I could be anywhere at anytime. I also knew everything, Everything there is to know. I could know anything in an instant, but I didn’t need to know everything. Everything to know was readily available to me at any time, instantly.

I was everything, from being a single atom to all life on earth and everything in the cosmos. I was one single entity where I was and everything at once. I don’t know how long I was in this transcendent place because time was absent. When I eventually came back into “the real world” I tried to go back to that most incredible place, but it was like trying to go back to a dream that I was enjoying and couldn’t.

I laid on my bed listening to the birds singing again and the beautiful springtime aromas that floated into my room. I tried closing my eyes and force myself back to that incredible place, but that door was closed. I still felt the energy of it, but it was now out of reach. I told my sister and fiance’ about it when I saw them, but I can’t remember what their reaction or opinions were.

Yes, I still chase after that experience and wish I could live it in my daily life. I wish I could bring it into my life and live it. It eludes me. I’ve read about other people having similar experiences, but never have I met them. Since then I have reminisced about it from time to time, and today it really came on full in my thoughts, I felt the need to write about it. There are a few things that stand out in my mind regarding it, as follows:

Number one, did this really happen? I can say without an ounce of doubt in my mind that it definitely occurred. It changed my life! It’s one of the few things I have experienced that has made me think differently. The person I was before it happened is a person whom I don’t know anymore. The reason this is, is because after having this experience I understand my place in this world, in this universe and beyond. This is one of the reasons I don’t believe in a god, nor am I spiritual in any way.

Number two, I don’t fear death at all. I can boldly say that I now know what happens after my body dies. Whether it’s my spirit or my energy, or however you wish to call it, I like to think that my self, or Being, the thing that is beyond this body and who I really am, will return to this transcendent place. Maybe I am connected to this source always as I experience my life in this world, in this realm. Weird, weird, weird I hear you thinking. Some of you may say I’m going to hell. Well I have a few things to tell you.

Number three, there are no gods, there is no heaven or hell in the religious terms. Nada, zilch. Humans have made this up to explain what they don’t understand. My experience dictates that there is a field(a source?) whence everything emerges from. Think of it this way; Everything that we see, feel, and experience, etc, bubbles up from this field of pure consciousness and manifests in our realm. Dare I say, it is a way of expressing itself to know itself. It’s has been called the ‘Unified Field of Consciousness’.

In physics, the Unified Field is what they are looking for to bring together the field of relativity and the subatomic field (the Quantum field). Theoretical Physicists who study String Theory postulate that the subatomic field is made up of vibrating strings that vibrate at differing frequencies. Through these vibrations everything manifests into the relative, all that we observe. There is more to it than that, but I am not a Theoretical Physicist, though it is fascinating learning about this.

To finalize my experience, I was astounded by the fact that I could be everywhere in a moments notice. I could know everything there is to know, and that it would be readily available to me in an instant. I was everything. I was the smallest entity, yet I was everything. I was all the molecules in our known universe and I was simply me at the same time.

Draw your own conclusions. I think that if every living thing on this planet were to experience what I have, this place that we call Earth would transform into a ‘heavenly’ place.