Grocery Shopping Music
The music in the store where I buy my groceries is terrible. It’s loud, it’s obnoxious, and I hurry to get the hell out of the store asap. I have thought about writing to the store operations manager and letting them know, in no uncertain terms, that they have got to address this issue promptly. Though in the end, my letter to them sounds more like a neurotic banshee screaming from the tree tops rather than a logical and well written complaint. Which will most likely be thrown in the bin if they ever received it. So I cut out the middle man and toss it into my bin in frustration.
Yes, I am going to show me age here really quickly. I know I sound like an old timer, or my parents, or yadda yadda, yadda… The fact is, (**deep breath**) the music of today is not built to last the test of time. It’s as if, (pause) it is there to annoy people like me. It’s as if, (pause) they don’t want me shopping there because I don’t fit the geographical age requirement. My algorithm just doesn’t jive with their data.
I am finding that I don’t trend easily anymore. The only fashion statement I make is “Obsolete”. I am past my expiry date in today’s world. I can’t keep up with the technology, nor do I completely understand today’s hip terminology. When I was growing up, “Sick” meant that you weren’t feeling well and possibly vomiting every half hour. And seriously, when did mock turtle necks go out of style?!?!
Just an aside, whenever I said ‘cool’ around my grandfather, he would reply by saying, ‘Frigid.” He made it sound like the word frigid were hanging over my head and slowly dripping on to me, ‘Frrriiiid-Jjiiiid’ as he slowly brought his stogie up to his lips to take a puff. A wonderful enriching childhood memory.
But, in my honest opinion, the worst of the worst is grocery store music. I mean, really, gag me with a spoon. First of all, how do the people working there put up with it all day? All day???!! Holy guacamole! I’m not saying all the grocery stores play lousy and loud music, and I don’t know where you live and shop for groceries. But all the grocery stores where I go have a penchant for music that might cause tumors in the ear canal. I will have to research this on Google, but I’m pretty sure that my PhD in Google Researching will confirm this.
What Does A Classic Song Mean Anymore?
My description: Something that sounds as good today, as when it first came out, and will sound just as good 200 years from now. I’m talking along the vibe of Shakespeare writings. I could watch ‘A Midsummer’s Dream’ over and over and it would probably be just as wonderful to watch today as it did when it was first performed. I’d bet my life savings on it, which isn’t very much but…still.
Anywho, let’s meander through various places where one is bound to hear excruciatingly music around the town:
Mall music
Aaaaahhhh!!! Need I say more?
Elevator Music
It’s hit or miss in this area. Sometimes the volume is to low to hear anything at all. Other times I will push the next floor button and then take the stairs.
Restaurant Music
Depending on the restaurant, I will either get my food to go and not subject myself to the wailing of auto tuned singing, whereas the singer couldn’t really sing if their life depended on it. Unless, of course, it is a fine dinning restaurant playing the Best of Lawrence Welk, ‘Tank you Boyz.’
Streaming Music
There is too much music in the world today. Lordy, there are a gazillion streaming platforms available. The one I liked, Pandora, packed its bags and left Australia. I had to submit to Spotify because I couldn’t stand the thought of Apple Music. I won’t go anywhere near Amazon Music, nor Goggle Music. Mostly, I feel bad about how these companies short change the artist, but I won’t get into that here.
Alternative Music
I used to be a DJ at my local university (college) radio station, WXUT. I discovered a heck of a lot of music there. I used to grab albums off the shelf and occupy Studio B, where the commercials and public service announcements were created, just to hear the new music. I had had enough of the standard corporate music that was been force fed to the masses on the radio. I knew there was more and better music out there, and it was up to me to find it.
…And I did.
It was fresh, fun and different. I discovered music from Australia like the Hoo Doo Gurus, Mental As Anything and The Church. The UK provided me sounds from The Clash, The Cure, Aztec Camera, Loyd Cole and the Commotions, and XTC. The people in those bands were creative song-smiths. They took me to another level. In America there were groups like Television and The Talking Heads. Woe boy, it was unlike anything I had heard before. There was one band out of New York called Joey Miserable & The Worms. They were the best bar band I ever experienced live, twice.
Silence Is Golden
I bought some Bose headphones because of the noise cancelling they incorporated into them, and I like listening to Jazz and Big Band music like my Father introduced me to. I wear them when mowing the grass, and I will wear them when I grocery shop, or have to reluctantly enter a mall. If someone were to scream at me to get out of the way as a part of the roof is collapsing toward my head, I would only see the anguish in their face while motioning me to get out of the way. Then be crushed to death. Listening to ‘Take Five’.
In my near future, as I am convalescing in the old folks home, I’m absolutely sure that the greatest hits of the 1970s and early 1980s will be playing in the background. I will probably die hearing the song ‘I Ran So Far Away.’ That song was fresh, fun and different when I first heard it. If I could wish to listen to a last song, I would prefer ‘Chalkhills and Children’ by XTC. That would be nice as I drift off to the unknown.
