Dilemmas!! What Dilemma’s?!?

I make no apologizes for being Me. I really do not give one iota what people think of me…., unless of course, it’s praise and adulation for the greatness that is ME.

Eeeewww…., that was pretty seedy, eh? Well then, I apologize! Maybe I’m not as glorious as I first thought I was. I’ll admit, I have flaws. Yes, that’s right, flaws. You just heard it from the horses mouth. Nay, I say! It’s not that bad. Everyone has flaws. …. I hope… Oh man! Am I the only one who has flaws??!

Thank you dear reader, now I’m in a mood. You’ve just gave me the same look that my dog gives me when I start to vacuum the floors while it is snoozing.

I feel so guilty. I feel filthy and should have a long shower to wash that look off my middle aged body. Question; How do I know it’s middle age? What if I die next week, or tomorrow, and I was too late to realize I was at the end of age? What if my middle age was at Thirty? Just what I need, another dilemma in my life. I’m beginning to lose my hair. Seriously, I just found several silver strands of it on my keyboard.

Body vs Mind

I am physically falling apart. I was going to go on a bike ride but now I feel too lazy on this humid and hot summer day, and it’s not even noon yet. That is the funny thing about aging, the mind still wants to go-go-go! But the body says, ‘Hold on a minute…, (it loses its train of thought before continuing) …go where? …By - cycling! Are you kidding me?! Aaahh!!!’

Seriously, I have this kind of communication between my mind and body all the time now. For the body it’s always a drama to do anything. Like walking the dog, ‘Oh, you gotta be kidding me!!’ or having a shower, ‘Already? I can go another day like this.’ It’s always a battle between these two body parts.

At night they reverse roles. The body can’t wait to plop down on the mattress and the mind starts going a hundred miles a second. My mind doesn’t like to count sheep. It needs complex equations, but that’s only throwing fuel on the fire. My mind is constantly thinking of things to write about or ‘what ifs…’ like, ‘What if, I never got married and moved to the bottom of the earth?’ or ‘What if, I let that person know that I like them, even though I really don’t know them at all?’

These and other questions will be answered when we return to Art’s Dilemma. First a word from our sponsors…..

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8:30 pm

Hi! Welcome back! I’ve lost track of my thoughts during that break. Actually, I started writing this this morning around 730am, and I’m just returning to continue this writing tonight at 830pm. Yes, I am a dedicated writer. What the H E double hockey sticks was I putting you through or tormenting you with? Ah yes, my body/mind connection.

To tell you the truth, I write better in the morning. All I can do is think of you reading this thinking ‘That Art dude has completely lost it. He needs to get some help. He is starting to sound incoherent. His brain must be baked from all day in the hot sun, while I froze my caboose off in a blizzard.’

I know that is what you are thinking because I am psychic. Some people think I’m psychotic, and I let them think that because I don’t know where the hell they are coming from as they shout it directly in my face while passing them on the street.

The Next Morning

Wow, talk about flying off in different tangents. Maybe I should write about it in a third person view:

“Art tried to continue his writing way past his bed time. His errors became futile attempts at humor, and constantly missed their mark. The sleeping fairy almost gave up on him, went to the neighbors house to help put their kids to sleep, came back and Art was still sitting at his desk deliriously typing away on the keyboard. Maybe it’s time to take this Old Yeller out behind the barn and…..”

There was a slogan growing up that went something like this: ‘Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.’ I should put a sign on the wall above my computer and change the wording to ‘Friends don’t let friends type after 830pm”. All cognizance is gone! After 830pm I can type with my eyes closed and when I read it in the morning it’s not comprehensible. Here’s a sample from a few nights ago:

“…..as the deer ran thru the forest, he sppafiiiiid dksdj dig ehwlsd igisl’kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk”

I am becoming one of those people of age where 4pm in the afternoon is a good time to start preparing for bed by 415pm.

Okay dear reader, I will not put you through any more anguish. Wherever you are in the world, and especially that one freezing their caboose off in a blizzard, thank you for reading this. I appreciate it.



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Arthur Mitchell

Arthur Mitchell


Art is just a regular dude. Likes humor, plays the drums and enjoys listening to his favorite pods. He doesn’t mind mowing the lawn, he is an observer of people