Are You Canadian Or American? Australian Or Kiwi??

I get asked this question a lot. I usually respond, ‘Take a guess.’ This can cause a conundrum. This is generally followed by a pause before the person asking me responds with, ‘Well, I know that Canadians don’t like to be called Americans, and I don’t want to offend you if you are.’ Hmmm. ‘If I’m what?’ I reply. This throws them off completely. I ease their pain because I sense that they are feeling uncomfortable at this point having asked me the question in the first place.

I find all of this weird. I now reside in Australia, and before that I lived in New Zealand. I know first hand that the Kiwi’s will correct me if I say that they sound like an Australian. Australian’s, not so much. In fact, when I talk about either country to American’s I usually emphasize the country, not that I am living “Down Under.” I know that that term can cause an issue with some of them, and besides, if you ever look at the earth from space, there really is no ‘up’ or ‘down.’ We’re just floating in space. I guess it’s because everyone thinks of North & South as positive and negative, or up and down. I put most of the blame on Men At Work.

I regress. I will tell people that I am from America, just to set them at ease. ‘But you sound Canadian’ they say. I follow that by telling them that I lived across the lake from Ontario, Canada, and that it only takes an hour to travel north, through Detroit and over the Ambassador Bridge and Viola!, I’m in the city of Windsor, Essex County. They usually look nonplussed, before they respond that they (the Australians) feel like they are more like Canadians than Americans. Which is far from the truth, in my eyes.

In my mind I say loudly, “No! You’re not! You’re more like Americans than Canadians!” I keep this to myself. I mean, really… In Australia, you can see all the “Americanism” play out in different situations, most prolifically on the TV. From their sensationalized morning TV shows (they call this their morning news. Ugh!) to their nightly shows that they call entertainment, blech! I think their version of ‘Survivor’ is on it’s fifteenth year! Double Ugh! Ugh! To tell you the truth, it’s all garbage. The TV stuff that is. I don’t ever bother watching it. I haven’t watched TV in ages. It doesn’t stop there; But I will.

Canadians. I’ve met a few. I’ve watched their TV shows when I was young, since we could pick up the CBC signal. I was a devoted watcher of CBC’s Hockey Night In Canada. I loved Coaches Corner. CBC helped me to discover Second City, and Kids In The Hall. Their humor was quite different to American humor, and quite wicked and a little dark. I loved it!

I would listen to CBC on the radio at night. There were two shows I was addicted too, Night Lines and Brave New Waves. These shows were on late at night. They introduced me to so much new music that my local radio stations could never do. There was a guy named ‘Brent Brambury’ that hosted Brave New Waves. I discovered artist like Bruce Cockburn, and The Bear Naked Ladies, and bands from other countries like The Jazz Butcher from the UK. There were also the classic bands from BTO to Steppenwolf in the early 70s that I would hear on CKLW, out of Windsor.

So the Canadians had quite the repertoire cornered in broadcasting. I discovered Australian bands while I was a DJ at the University of Toledo and I would use the styling’s of Brent Brambury, or I tried too. So I knew plenty about the music here before I arrived.

Getting Back To The Title Of This Article

So, in my opinion, Australia is much like America in many ways. I guess what throws people here a little bit is my accent. Being from Toledo, the Canadian accent kind of curved its way down from Windsor, across to Detroit and on to Toledo. Once you travel further south the American twang starts to become more apparent.

I admit that I say ‘eh’ quite often, but that’s done unconsciously. I have never understood that inflection anyway. To me, I always thought that the Canadians were saying “Ay.” So when I learned that they spelled it “Eh” it didn’t make sense to me. In their spelling of it, I would pronounce it as the word ‘The’ but without the ‘Th’, just ‘eh.’ I know that doesn’t sound right, it’s a Canadian mystery to me. I would garner that the American opposite to this would be our saying, ‘huh.’ As an example, Canadians would say, ‘Good game, eh?’ while Americans would say, ‘Good game, huh?’ I’m pretty positive that if you googled it there will be hordes of topics to choose from regarding this, huh?

I’ve traveled up and down the 401, otherwise known as the Queens Highway in Ontario. Once I enter Ontario, in Windsor, it really does feel like a different country. It looks like America, but then you begin to notice things. Like all of their speed signs are in Kilometers. Good thing American cars have both Miles and Kilometer readings on their dashboard. Also some of their town names sound different, like Kitchener, Mississauga, Brampton, and Etobicoke. I think you would find it hard to find those names in the states. I know that Mississauga is similar to Mississippi, buuut those two places couldn’t be farther from each other in so many ways, if ya’ know whatahmean?!

Do We Really Have Differences??

Canadians are more subdued than Americans. We Americans can be loud and brash, and we really don’t give two hoots what people think. Subtly, I think we do because American’s are such a ‘prideful’ people. Between Australia and New Zealand, the Kiwi’s are more like Canadians but leaning toward the British empire in their mannerisms. Oooh, I think I might get some feedback on saying that.

To me, since I come across Canadians every day at my place of work, they kind of mind their own business. American’s say ‘sir’ and ‘m’am’ a lot and sometimes overcompensate their politeness to others. That’s not a bad thing though, it’s just not needed most of the time. We understand their intentions. Australians can be a hard bunch at times, and they can be very direct like their American counterparts. That too, is not a bad thing. It just is. When I was living in New Zealand there was a hardness in the male attitudes that put me off. It was hard to break into certain groups or relationships. I think this is what was called ‘The Old Boys Network’ and I found that they would compare themselves to Americans a bit.

One of their issues was telling me that they were the first in flight but Americans got all the press. As an American I would reply, ‘Like, …whatever dude.’ I later learned that the term to explain this is call a ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome.’ Well, that term left me thinking, ‘Like, …whatever dude.’ I hadn’t any idea what the hell that meant. I can say that I struggled more in New Zealand than I have here in Australia. That’s because Aussie’s are more like ‘mericans!

I don’t mind if someone calls me Canadian. It doesn’t bother me one iota. I actually find it charming. I had a friend at university who was from Sudbury in Ontario who called me an “Honorary Canadian.” I tell people this, especially in these weird times. I admit that there are times it is difficult to be known as an American since 2016. That was the start of four really shitty years and the smell of that administration still lingers today. But, I assure you that I won’t go into politics and save that for another day.

Or will I??? (Maniacal laughter ensues)

Hello Earthlings!

The thing is, the bottom line, we are all people living on one planet. Yeah, I think big, …Real Big! But we all share quite a lot. We all have feelings that are found in every country, every city and so on. We all share the Sun and Moon. We all have different cultures surrounding us and contribute to our ways in this world. We pretty much have the same issues more or less. I think the biggest thing that differentiates us and that we pick up on quite quickly are our accents. If I were to stand next to a Canadian you wouldn’t be able to differentiate between us, until we spoke. Well, maybe you would because we Americans are so much more attractive than our neighbors to the north, with all their inside jokes and all.

Here in Australia they have many different subtleties in their accent, just like there are various American accents throughout the states. I’ve even thought a few of them were Kiwi’s, only to have them correct me. And visa-versa for the Kiwi’s.

Picking an American out in a crowd is easy because of the way we dress and our colloquial “isms.” We tend to say — Dude, Bro, Man, Buddy while the Australians will say — Mate, or Maaate, and sometimes Bro among the younger ones. Pretty much the same with Kiwi’s. Canadians just end everything in ‘eh’, i.e. “Hey, eh.” I think that’s the extent of how they communicate. American woman will call people ‘honey’ while Australian women say, ‘Doll’ as in “How’s your day been, doll?’ I’ve even been called that! Woo hoo!!

It’s really a small world when you think about it. Especially with the internet. We are all connected in more ways than you could name. I am fortunate to have lived among the people and cultures that I have come across. I seem to get along with everyone, but I know I stand out as an American. I’ve actually been practicing a British accent to see if I will be called out on it. I’ve tried an Australian accent and get called out on it all the time. I found it pretty hard to imitate a Kiwi. I think I pull off a Canadian accent pretty well, eh?

So I will end here with a salutation from all the accents in all the lands I have lived in:

America — ‘Good night dear (or honey)! Hope the bed bugs don’t bite. See ya in the morning!’

New Zealand — ‘Good on ya mate. Goin’ for a little sleepies? See ya.’

Australian — G’day mate! Ya goin’ to beed? Well sweet dreams, see ya in the morn’ doll!’

Canadian — Good night eh? Hope you get good slumber eh, you hoser! Take off, eh!!’